Notes from the Dark Side

In a forest, far far away…

I have been thinking a lot about how easily I have been swayed from my own personal principles and beliefs over the years. This behavior was all in the name of people pleasing, allowing my fear of disappointing those I cared to take the wheel. I’ve found that the trouble with pleasing people is that you end up never pleasing yourself. How can we lead and give from an empty vessel?

This last year, (especially the last 4-6 months) I have seen very clearly that it didn't actually serve anyone to go about life making sure everyone else was pleased. And so, I sat my ass down and got clear on my principles and made a creed to which I hold myself accountable to every day. For all of my entrepreneurs and program founders out there,- think of this as your personal mission statement.

Take note… writing these down somewhere to never look at again is not going to work. They need to be SUPER simple, CLEAR, and easy to keep in the forefront of your mind.

These principles will be your compass as you navigate all the things as a human, mama, papa, friend, director, peer, leader, and advocate. Take the time to sit with these principals. Walk away, and come back being especially mindful of the principals that tend to be a little harder to keep to than the others… those hold a special lesson.

Don’t forget to look up.

Above my desk is a sign I bought on a whim when I lived in Dallas, TX. A total impulse buy. It is ginormous. This sign is the first thing my partner and I see when I come downstairs each morning… if we look up

The sign reads: Work hard and be nice.

In literal black and white. Seems simple, right?

If I am being honest, I don’t always see this sign despite its obvious placement and seemingly unavoidable size. Usually, I am more focused on what’s coming next, or which dog is about to trip me down the stairs.

Even worse… I don’t always adhere to this credo. I get swept up in the tides of comparison, the oversharing of information that’s better left unsaid, the comfort of the familiar, and the temptation to settle for good enough.

I combat these feelings daily and remember the lived experience of working hard and being nice that resides in my very being.

Looking long and hard at this sign just this morning, I recalled a familiar sensation… When I put my blood, sweat, and tears into something I am an unstoppable force. There is nothing I cannot do. All because I witnessed my personal power from showing up when it was hard, unpleasant, and frankly, sometimes debilitating. Because I showed up in the turbulent times, I have found gorgeous pockets of peace, resilience, and understanding.

The other piece of adapting the motto Work Hard and Be Nice is that this is an incredible way to lead amongst the children. Are you doing your best? Are you meeting failure? Are you making mistakes? I sure hope so. Every mistake, misstep, and moment of resistance is an opportunity for me to learn and grow. Mistakes are a message to us from our brain saying, “Hey! I just learned something!” We could all tune in to this a little more. I share these insights with the kiddos as well. Together, we move through it all.

Here is an example of one of the most powerful creeds in cinematic history: The Code of the Grey Jedi from Star Wars. Spend some time with this, see what resonates, where it takes you, and how things could be a little more manageable and bright with these things in mind. Take it as inspiration to write your own code.

Friends, I am so honored to walk this path with you. Amazing things are on the horizon for us all, no doubt.

XO,
Ade

Join the Nature and Play-Based Consortium A FREE Community for change makers!

NPBC is a free community for nature and play-based educators, caregivers, facilitators, and advocates. We meet monthly via Zoom and our main mission is to provide a soft place to land when the work of a renegade feels lonesome and challenging. You are not alone, we are all in this together. Laura and Ade created NPBC to provide a true community that uplifts, supports, encourages, and inspires. Join us today by clicking the button below.

Join us on Tuesday, September 26 at 7 pm EST via Zoom. Group members will receive the link to view the replay if they cannot make the live call.