The Trap of “Falling Behind”.

This week I received an unexpected lesson and a powerful reminder. Of all the people interacted with this week, in all the places I found myself - the lesson was delivered in my least favorite place- the dentist. 

I was there for a routine cleaning. But I walked away with something far more impactful. 

As I sat in the chair, nearing the end of my appointment the hygienist mentioned that we had one more thing to do, and then I’d be on my way.  

As she measured and poked around she paused, and called in the dentist. When she arrived in the room she began to ask me a stream of questions.

I became a little nervous… something wasn’t right. My mind began to race, I felt my heart rate increase. Even my smartwatch told me to relax. 🤦🏽‍♀️

After a wordless minutes, the dentist told me that it was clear that I had been grinding my teeth and she saw some issues …

After uttering more words I didn’t understand she said she was going to file some teeth down.

I panicked.

I said nothing.

The hygienist took a step closer to me and gently and simply explained, “It’s just a little vibration, I’ll be right here”.

That was it. That was all it took.

I was calm, and confident that all would be well and nothing awful would happen.

She placed her hand on my shoulder and within minutes we were scheduling my next appointment.

Okay, I am sure at this point you are wondering - why is this important?

That day in the dentist's chair I learned a lesson of trust.

I was reminded how simple it can be to lead someone there.

The hygienist was warm, she somehow knew me more deeply at that moment.

Maybe it’s because she’s seen a million patients. Or maybe, it’s because she met me where I was with nothing but warmth and understanding. Zero judgment. No projection. She didn’t rush me or dismiss my feelings. She was in it with me.

It made me think of how we show up for tough moments with children.

Maybe they are climbing for the first time, and are very hesitant. I have found that simply saying, “I will be right here with you, and you tell me when you’re ready”, helps tremendously. They may not climb that day, but they remember what you said and call for you when they are ready.

It’s simple.

Trustful communication is warm. It’s gentle yet firm. It’s genuine. It doesn’t expire and it is never conditional.

Perhaps a child is struggling to find the words to express themselves effectively. Frustration builds, and shouting and waving of limbs begin. Tears may even fall.

“This is hard, I am here with you” almost always brings a gentle wave of relief.

I am so grateful for moments like I experienced at the dentist’s office last week.

They remind me that sure, we can do hard things… but we don’t ever HAVE to do them alone.

Adults are just as capable of meeting one another where they just as caregivers do children hundreds of times a day.

So I am writing to you today, and ask you- how often do you experience this in the world? You may be the one that slows things down and meets people where they are no matter if they are 2, 22, 42, or 92 years old. No matter how long it takes.

This is a gift. This is a skill. Don’t ever lose it, the world needs more of this. The world needs you.

Grateful for you, play advocate.

Big hugs,

Ade

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